“IF it’s your will, then on the day of my results, show me the path you want me to take”: Emma found the path forward against all odds
I know for certain God has played a very big and important role in what I am doing now.
I am a 4th year medical student at Lee Kong Chian School of Medicine. If you were to ask me 10 years ago what I wanted to be, it was nothing remotely close to what I am doing today! (My childhood dream was to become either a newscaster or a Starbucks barista.) It was not until secondary school that I started to question my existence and purpose in life.
Back then I was less than a regular Sunday Catholic, always looking for means and ways to escape going to Church. As I started on my quest to find my purpose as a young 14-year-old, I met God. Like a switch that was flicked on, I had a calling and was drawn to church. Though it was gradual, I grew deeper in my faith. I started to get answers to the questions I had been asking.
One day after feeling particularly lethargic while studying, my mind started to drift into thoughts about my purpose in life, and very surprisingly, I had an answer that I am certain was God’s voice – “To love God, and to love my neighbour” – the 2 greatest commandments are my purpose in life.
I had been hearing this all my life, but on that particular day, it gave me a whole new outlook. I experienced one of the greatest joys and I went around telling everyone about my newfound revelation! Some thought I was crazy, but I knew that the direction I was heading had to be one that fulfilled both the greatest commandments.
Angry with God
In Junior College, studying medicine was one of the initial thoughts that crossed my mind, but because of my belief that I was inadequate, I vowed never to think of that as an option. I was afraid of disappointing myself, so I told myself to do something more manageable, and I convinced myself to choose an allied health profession. I even went so far as to get a scholarship before my A-level results.
I was not happy with where I was going but I felt I was never going to be good enough to study medicine. Every time the thought came up, I instinctively turned it away. This carried on until my A-level exams. The day before the first paper, the thought of medicine appeared in my head (despite having been repressed for so long) and I asked God why He was doing this to me, if He knew that it was only going to reaffirm my inferiority.
I was pretty angry and troubled. After I sat for my papers, the thought recurred more than ever, and this got me even more frustrated because I felt I had not done well in my papers.
One day, I got so mad that I said to God “OK this is really unlikely and I know you’re the one telling me about medicine, but I know I can’t do it. BUT BUT BUT IF and ONLY IF it’s your will, then on the day of my results, you will show me the path you want me to take.”
God Made The Way
Fast forward to the day of results – everything happened in a blur. The moment I received my results, I felt God say, “I told you so”. Without thinking twice, I applied for medicine, and by God’s grace I was accepted into the school I am in now.
Along the way, there were many times I could fail – the interviews, selection tests – but God made the way for me, and my heart was blazing with the fire of His love for me. God kept whispering tenderly to me and guiding me through my journey to where I am now, and I am confident He will fill me with His graces for what is to come.
Studying medicine has been rather tough for me, especially since I am not as intellectually gifted as many around me. There are times I feel inferior, scared and alone. But I am always comforted by the knowledge that God has put me on this path, and that he will make all things right for me. Through the darkest moments, God has shown me His mercy and His goodness, and I cannot be more blessed to partake in this.
Living in the Light of Christ
As a medical student, the impact I have made is not significant and there is not much I can do. But I think God has granted me the grace to be merciful and empathetic to patients. I try my best to live in the light of Christ and be His disciple especially when I am listening to patients and pouring my love (from God) to the patients to help them feel as comfortable as possible.
I’ve also tried to be a light to the Catholics in my batch. It has not been easy and there are times I falter and am weak as a leader, but I try to be there for them, like setting up a cell group, checking in on them and doing my best to grow in faith with them.
My prayer for the Catholic Church’s 200th anniversary
Father Lord, I come to you with gratitude and joy as we celebrate 200 years of the Catholic Church
in Singapore. Thank you, for your abundant blessings and love all these years, and for empowering
the people of Your Church with the zest and zeal to carry out Your work.
Thank you for the many beautiful communities and ministries that exist today to form strong
pillars of our Faith, as well as for the many leaders you have appointed to lead the Church in
Singapore. Nothing would have been possible without your unending love and mercy for all of us.
Our Faith has stood the test of time, and we are growing stronger everyday.
Lord, as the years go by, there will be many joys to come, but there will also be struggles. I pray
that when we do encounter these struggles, that You will give us the strength to overcome it
fearlessly and fiercely with the love You have given us.
Help us to be constantly reminded of Your goodness and Your mercy, so that we can come
together to praise and glorify You as one big community. Help us never lose sight of Your Kingdom,
and never to be distracted by earthly desires and continue to serve you wholeheartedly. May we
continue to live in the light of Your love for us. Amen!